Boredom And No Plot
by Relatively Unknown
Summary: Read the title. Ace, Pietro, and Lance are bored. Enter duct tape and Barney, stage left.


A/N: How long has it since I wrote an Ace story? Jeez, I don't think I can count that high.  
Oh well, the three annoying muses that plague me (long story that you don't want to  
know) decided to take an extended vacation to Tahiti, and have only just come back. So  
don't blame me, blame them!  
  
  
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It seemed that so many adventures start with a door slamming. Well, so does this one.  
*SLAM* In walked double trouble.  
  
  
"Let's see, the devil and the devil's advocate. Also known as dumb and dumber." I said.  
Lance ignored me, as usual, and Pietro just stuck out his tongue. I rolled my eyes.   
  
  
"I am soooo bored, it ain't funny." Pietro complained.  
  
  
"Pietro, with you, it's never funny. Whatever you do, don't destroy anything or get me  
kicked out. Better yet, go lock yourself up in your cage." I told him.  
  
  
"True, it never is funny. But don't worry, destruction's been out of my system lately."  
  
  
"Oh really?" A crash came from the kitchen, which is where Lance had gone.  
  
  
"Yup, it's currently in Lance's." Lance came out, a wierd grin on his face.  
  
  
"I don't want to know." I told him. I was sitting at my computer, as usual, checking my  
email. Nothing of interest, just ads. I signed out and sighed.   
  
  
"What's wrong?" Lance asked.  
  
  
"I think Pietro's boredom is contagious. There is absolutely nothing to do." Lance put his  
hands over Pietro's ears.  
  
  
"SHHH! Don't let him hear you!" He said, only half-faking. Pietro batted him away.  
  
  
"Too late." He said. "I wish it wasn't cold. Then we could go outside."  
  
  
"Yeah, winter sucks." I agreed. "Any suggestions?" No one said anything. "Well...."  
  
  
"We could go rent movies or something. Ya know, each of us would get one or two of  
our fave movies." Lance said.  
  
  
"Yeah, and we could order some pizza and Chinese!" Pietro said. Pietro had a strange  
affinity for pizza and chop suey. Together. Trust me, not for those with weak stomachs.  
  
  
"Sounds like a plan, except for Blockbuster's closed." I told them. "But never fear, Ace's  
Huge Library of Taped Movies is here!"  
  
  
I walked over to a tall cabinet that was locked. I unlocked it, and threw open the doors.  
There were fifty or so movies. Actually, probably more than that. I love taping movies off  
of TV and... well.... the illegal way too. (Shh, don't tell!)  
  
  
"Holy shiznit." They said at the same time. Pretty funny, if I do say so myself.   
  
  
"Help yourself." They ran over and started scanning titles. "BUT, I get to choose the first  
movie, since they're all mine."  
  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Pietro said, distracted. I pulled one of my fave movies out from  
beside the TV. (That's where all my fave movies were.) After they chose, I showed them  
what I had picked out.  
  
  
"Never heard of it." Lance said.   
  
  
"You're gonna love it. There's a certain character that will remind you of someone you  
know very well." He looked confused. So did Pietro. Oh well, they'll figure it out soon  
enough. I put the tape in the VCR and sat down between them on the couch, smiling to  
myself.  
  
  
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What was the movie? Well, here's a hint: 'Neo-maxie-zoom-dweebie'. Figure it out yet?  
No? Well, here's the answer: The Breakfast Club.  
  
  
"Sound like anybody ya know?" I asked Pietro, after Bender said one of his more  
infamous lines.   
  
  
"Yeah." We both glance at Lance.  
  
  
"What?" He asked, innocence written all over his face. Fake innocence, that is. "I have no  
idea what you're talking about."  
  
  
"I bet." I told him. We were silent for the rest of the movie. When it ended, they just sat  
there. "To quote Goldberg, who's next?"  
  
  
"ME!" Pietro shouted, dashing over to the VCR and back. "Guess what it is? C'mon,  
guess, guess, GUESS!"  
  
  
"Note to self: do not let Pietro eat anything that has the slightest amount of sugar in it."  
Lance muttered.   
  
  
"What is it?" I asked Pietro. He grinned.  
  
  
"The Matrix." He said.  
  
  
"Ooo... Neo... Keanu Reeves...." I said absentmindedly. I started fantasizing.  
  
  
"Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?" Lance waved his hand in front of my face. I ignored him,  
and didn't blink. "She's out for the count!"  
  
  
"1-2-3! Lance the Loser wins!" Pietro shouted.  
  
  
"With no thanks to Pietro the Fruitcake!" I couldn't help myself. I started laughing. Pietro  
glared at me.  
  
  
"That's not funny." He said. He turned and started to the TV, a grin tugging at his mouth.  
  
  
"Yeah it is!" Before he could react (amazing, no?), I started tickling him. He's extremely  
ticklish. Lance saw this and joined in.   
  
  
"Aaah!" Pietro screamed. He got up and disappeared. Then, before either of us knew it,  
me and Lance were duct taped to the couch. Pietro stood in front of us, with an evil grin.   
  
  
"I think we're dead." Lance said. I started humming the death march song. Pietro  
disappeared again, and was gone for a long, dangerous few seconds. He reappeared with a  
tape in his hand. "Should I dare ask?"  
  
  
"Oh yeah. Guys, meet.... Barney!" Lance and I looked at each other and screamed.  
  
  
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It was six hours later before the tape ended and Pietro let us go -- after, of course, we had  
to bribe him with some chocolate. Don't worry, we'll either lock him up in his cage or in  
the X-Freaks's mansion.   
  
  
After un-taping us, Pietro sat down and watched The Matrix while Lance and I hid out in  
my room, playing cards to keep our sanity in check. Rummy, Poker, Uno, and even built a  
card tower. It worked. I think.  
  
  
"Whoever created Barney needs to be dragged out in the street and shot." Lance said.  
  
  
"Hey, it could've been worse."   
  
  
"Yeah? How?"  
  
  
"Teletubbies." I said. We both shuddered at the thought. "Or even--"  
  
  
"Ah! Stop! I don't wanna hear it!" Lance said, pointing finger at me, all serious-like. I  
pretended to try and bite it. "Hey! I need that finger!"  
  
  
"What for? All you use is the middle one!" I told him. He grinned.   
  
  
"Well, I need that one too. It's a spare." We both cracked up at this.   
  
  
"HEY, I'M TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE, SHUT UP BACK THERE!" Pietro  
shouted in his 'If You Don't Do As I Say, More Barney Will Come Your Way' voice.  
(Kewl, I rhymed.)  
  
  
"We better do as he says." I whispered.  
  
  
"Yeah." Lance said. Then he got that dangerous smile. I knew what he was thinking. We  
sneaked out to the living room, on all fours, til we were behind the couch. 'On three.'  
Lance mouthed. 'One, Two...' We jumped up and screamed. Only.... Pietro wasn't there.  
"Where'd he go?"  
  
  
"Dammit, where did I put the duct tape?" We heard him muttering from the kitchen.  
Lance and I looked at each other and bolted out the door, with Pietro cussing behind us. 


End file.
